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Saturday, June 4th, 2005
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10:59 am - I'll eat your face like a flock of dead seagulls...
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GAWD....1st day on the job was ok...boring but ok...afterwards I ended up going to Matt and Jomo's and meeting Mallory, Matt's over the top sis and chillin for a good while over there. It was crazy fun Aaron showed up and then Travis and Holly showed up for a bit. I had so many great conversations last night I can't even begin to describe everything. Effin Travis was all like smashed outta his mind walking up in there and all like "what the fuck is up...." with a cheese fry on his shoulder hahahaha. Matt and Mallory were toasted, they were awesome. Aaron and Kenny were pretty chill and I had a great time with them, a real good time. I dunno....it was just a great time...I'll leave it at that...
For this boy of mine....I walk the line
"You rock my world, you rock my face
you rock the hot sauce all over the place"
I miss my girlie....I'm still just trying to find a balance
God thinks we're fags, I'm just proving him right....let's crucify the bastard
current mood:  loved
current music: tara's dad jammin to the radio
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4 slaps| oh it's on
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| Friday, June 3rd, 2005
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10:43 am - It's only when I lose myself in someone else, that I find myself, I find myself...
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I'm speechless, I dunno what to say....wow.
This sweet, loving, crazy/beautiful boy of mine has got my head spinning around like a dream.
The beach was amazing, the stars were breathtaking, the boat was so much fun...
but not anything or anyone could amaze me, take my breath away, and be so much fun as you Kiz....
Enough mushiness...God already thinks we're fags...I just continue to prove him right.
and I will eat your face like a flock of dead seagulls....
current mood: flirty
current music: santa monica
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oh it's on
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| Tuesday, May 31st, 2005
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1:56 pm - BLAH...before I go...
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I know someday you’ll have a beautiful life, I know you’ll be a star
In somebody else’s sky, but why
Why, why can’t it be, why can’t it be mine
love that song...
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oh it's on
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| Monday, May 30th, 2005
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12:13 pm - swim out past the breakers...and watch the world die....
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Well I'm going to the beach for tomrrow and wednesday so if any of yall freaks feel like getting in touch with me, leave me a message or something on my phone... I'll miss everyone of you lil turds while I'm gone, oh wait....no I won't...I will lol...
My wife beat me again today...spousal abuse! She asked if the eggs were good and I said they were "okay"...jesus lady....next time I'll be sure and say "AWESOME!" She threw a glass of orange juice at me....I think she's still mad about me knocking her up and all. wHORe-MONES is all I can say...
yeah anyways...later guys...love 2 all...except you you freaky bastard...yeah you reading this...you suck! :D
current mood:  bouncy
current music: radio
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oh it's on
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| Saturday, May 28th, 2005
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11:48 pm - All by myself, I'm alone in such poor company...
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Who would've thought that the dreams come true?
And who would've thought I ended up with you?
And who would've thought what they said was true?
But it was and you are, light in darkness come through
sadness, then madness, then happiness, and now we're back to sadness
Listening to Nirvana makes me wanna die...in a non deathy way...
Pop will eat itself...
I can't really do anything right now, I can't really think of what to write, I don't really feel like moving, I can't sleep, I don't feel like eating, I need to wash my hair, I need liquid, I need everything and nothing all at once....I need to take some benedryl and sleep for 20 hours...but I'm not a pill popper and I'm not a heart stopper so that I won't do....one minute you're up the next you're bust.
person 1: "Hmmm purgatory this is AWESOME!"
God: "You are out of here!!!!!"
I miss drunken chick wrestling....fun fun fun times! We always ended up half naked and bleeding somewhere...fall on speaker, land on glass, get sat on...pin pin pin, win win win...blah blah blah
drunken wrestling in general is great...I could take a dude...damnit I gotz no one to talk to so I'm talking to my damn journal
"We will get you off that smack, oh yes we will..." death to smoochy song
Bite my lip and close my eyes, take me away to PARADISE...
withdrawls, withdrawls is what I think this is, of the KWO kind...
current mood: weird
current music: longview
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oh it's on
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12:10 pm - You smile while I do my time...
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God I feel awful and I don't know why. It's hard for me to feel feelings anymore and I don't know why. I feel blah almost all the time not quite happy but not quite sad...I'm in purgatory when I'm by myself...My heart was shattered by people who claimed to love me, and I'm still gathering peices off the ground. My soul was burned in the fire, scorched but not quite consumed. I'm still not quite whole again, I'm different now, I'm a rock now. My heart is hardened, I'm colder, I'm different. I feel like there is still a knife in my chest and I need someone to pull it out, relieve me. I feel like crying cause I don't really mean much to people anymore except a select few. People don't want to be around me, I have to get in touch with them if I want them to be around. I hate needing people. I hate feeling like this. I don't know if I get to see Gen today, I don't get to see Kenny til Sunday bloody Sunday, and it's still a few hours before I see Roxie....
(Teach me how to feel again, teach me how to be, teach me how to melt with someone, rebuild my world for me)
(Make my world new, make it blue, make it true, but most of all make it for me and you)
~ You don’t know how lovely you are. I had to find you, Tell you I need you, Tell you I set you apart
tell me your secrets, ask me your questions, oh let's go back to the start~
current mood:  sad
current music: the scientist
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oh it's on
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| Friday, May 27th, 2005
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2:37 am - I just wanted to prove I could find it...
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If tonight wasn't absolutely spectacular then I don't know what else to call it. We went up on the parkway and searched for the cascade falls, walked all the way down to it and sat in awe for a good hour or so in zen. The stars were amazing and there was lightning bugs everywhere. It was so pretty. We finally got up to hike back up the trail and made it to the car and laid on it and just watched the stars for a while. Sometimes the simplest things are the greatest, there were shooting stars. Sometimes you just forget how wonderful nature can be when you live in the city. The way back we saw so many deer, skunks, and possums everywhere, wild animals at their finest. We went back home and talked and had fun. I didn't want to leave, I didn't want this night to end. Two beautiful things combined, the stars and you. You're beautiful. The only thing that would have made this night more perfect would have been seeing my daughter, I miss her so much...I feel sad almost all the time because I want to be with her a lot more. Until I get my own place I'm screwed. I love her so much....I just can't put it in words. I want to write her a letter that she can read when she's older about what's going on right now and how much I care. That's the only way she'll ever know about this time period and the shit the other half of her family will try to tell her.
I'm doing what I can with what time and money I got...I'm doing my best, that's all I can offer to anyone....
current mood:  enthralled
current music: we've had some times I wouldn't trade for the world..
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oh it's on
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| Wednesday, May 25th, 2005
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11:40 am - I'm never noticed, no never noticed, you're so amazing, so amazing.....
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Go fork yourself
forking is fun for the whole family
Don't forget old people like to fork too...
forking badgers is strictly prohibited, you may only spoon them.
Kitty cats in boxes make me happy
Today is ERRAND day....so much crap to get done...awww no fun...no fun
Living with Tara is going to be awesome...I've already met CAPT. Mo the bunny...he rocks your face...he will eat your face buddy!
I don't wanna have to kill anyone today so just relax, because if I have to kill someone then I have to hide the body, and that would be ANOTHER errand, and then I'd have to stick you in the trunk of my mom's crack dealer's caddy, which isn't sitting on 20's and drive you somewhere remote...and that would just be no fun...because he'd just end up blasting his "Jigga what?!?!?" music and giving me a headache and you know what, you still ain't allowed to drop the N bomb up in Chaw you dead bastardo you...
wow....just wow...sometimes I amaze myself
Conformity is in your pants! Once I figure out what I mean by that I'll call everyone back...
"I eat VHS tapes..." Better stay away from mine, besides, they have no nutritional value, that's where you're going wrong...DVDs is where it's at ...porno DVDs!
America, Fuck yea!
current mood: weird/fun/ranty
current music: insanity....all of it
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oh it's on
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| Sunday, May 22nd, 2005
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11:33 pm -
If you lose me, you lose a good thing, that's one thing I know for sure.
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Everything's gonna be alright...
Some people are happy for me, others are not, I will kiss the ass of every one of my true friends one day for everything you've done for me. MMMMMmmmm Beachy goodness coming up...not sure when but I wanna go to the beach soon. I haven't got a lot in life but I've got enough. You can't drop the N bomb in here gangsta!!!
Greatest Dis quote ever.... "Boy there ain't nothing you can give me that I can't get from hemorrhoids or a hair brush handle." ~Gen
greatest drunk quote ever "I just drank a whole liter of Jager, and I'm still alive!" ~Travis
Greatest quote in the past 24 hours "You're too cute for your own damn good..."
you, me, we, beauty, XOXO
~We did not plan it to be this way, your mother and me
But things have got so bad between us
I don't see us ever being together ever again
Like we used to be when we was teenagers
But then of course everything always happens for a reason
I guess it was never meant to be
But it's just something we have no control over and that's what destiny is
But no more worries, rest your head and go to sleep
Maybe one day we'll wake up and this will all just be a dream~
current mood: groggy
current music: who cares...probably rancid
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4 slaps| oh it's on
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| Friday, May 20th, 2005
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2:05 am - Techni-color yawn.....
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Everything is black and white...
you're totally black.
current mood: tired
current music: shut me up
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oh it's on
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| Tuesday, May 17th, 2005
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7:50 pm - You can call me Little Miss Piss with a kiss after all this the rest is all bullshit and you love it
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The bass
The rock
The mic
The treble
I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up
I can't wait for you to shut me up
And make me hip like badass
I can't wait for you to shut me up
Shut it up
i'm standing up to all my abuse
inexperience is where i lose
i'm struggling to keep my edge
with two hookers and an 8-ball baby
I'll redo this later...
Sy's stupid quote of the day..."If you're going to be up someone's ass it might as well be your own..." GAWD I'm stupid...I can't believe I said that...
current mood: amused
current music: new msi
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oh it's on
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| Saturday, May 14th, 2005
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7:22 pm - Buddy buddy buddy, I know why you wander......
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*HUGS* TOTAL!
Gimme some *HUGS*
Get hugs of your own
Take a chance on something star you gotta
All the live long day
If i had to name one thing would data
Be hard pressed to say
You can say that i'm gushy
At least you know what i think
I know that i'm lucky i know you're on the brink
You got it good good good you got it good so good
You make up ridiculous words
Which mean exactly nothing
I know just what you mean and that's the funny thing
It's understood it's understood
~311
( Quizzy dealies.....ahhhh boredom )
current mood: bored
current music: pooty baby
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4 slaps| oh it's on
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10:37 am - I WaLkThE LiNe
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I'll sit here and take in the Sun exposure, it's so hot, just so hot to me
Tag......you're it....
And you’re the only reason
That I remain unfrozen
Suppose it stands to reason
That you would turn on me
another new poem that's getting published....
Babe you’re a star
You don’t even know it
You’re in everyone’s sky
Broadening horizons
With your love
Though we look through soulless windows
We find pieces of ourselves in you
Collecting the lost puzzle pieces
Spending a lifetime in the rain
With you it’d be no problem
We are from a generation that is
Overexposed and left out to dry
Underestimated and overly sedated
Forced to bleed for peace we die
You are unique just like everyone else
We are just searching for a star
Something that we can wish on
Brings brighter days and stops the bleeding
The others can bleed on
I’ve found my star
current mood: tired
current music: ambience
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oh it's on
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| Friday, May 13th, 2005
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5:16 pm - Happy Fried day the 13th...
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Weird quiz dealies....
What You Really Think Of Your Friends
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Nelson is your soulmate. |
| You truly love Kenny. |
| You consider Adam your true friend. |
| You know that Carolyn is always thinking of you. |
| You'll remember EM for the rest of your life. |
| You secretly think Bobo is creative, charming, and a bit too dramatic at times. |
| You secretly think that Gen is colorful, impulsive, and a total risk taker. |
| You secretly think that Aaron is loyal and trustworthy to you. And that Aaron changes lovers faster than underwear. |
| You secretly think Ian is shy and nonconfrontational. And that Ian has a hidden internet romance. |
( my love profile stupid sagittarius thing )
current mood:  listless
current music: rise against
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oh it's on
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10:56 am - ITS THE LEADERS OF THE SHEEP AND LIKE THE CHEESE I STAND ALONE
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He said reese's pieces, sweedish fish
Oodles of skittles and red liccorice
Marshmallow mints and a chocolate kiss
And it melts in your mouth like this
current mood:  geeky
current music: the good the bad and the skinnee
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oh it's on
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| Thursday, May 12th, 2005
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7:05 pm - I want to see the stars....feel the summer air....and have no cares
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If I had a perfect day
I would have it start this way
Open up the fridge and have a tall boy yeah
Then I’d meet up with my friends
current mood: amused
current music: offspring
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oh it's on
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11:52 am - Look at how they flock to him from an isle of open sores he knows that the taste is such to die for
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Oh, you are the something I never had but always wanted
current mood: peaceful
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oh it's on
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| Wednesday, May 11th, 2005
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2:06 pm - More chaotic....no relief
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I'm starting something new for my LJ
(How I feel about life right now: Special K: Placebo, Uno: Muse
(How I want to feel about life: Sweet: 311, Fall back down: Rancid
We all wanna be big big stars, yeah but we all got different reasons for that...
use song names to fill in the answers...
1. Are you male or female? When the curious girl realizes she's under glass
2. Describe yourself: Going For The Gold
3. How do people feel about you? True Blue
4. How do you feel about yourself? Gold Mine Gutted
5. Describe your interest: Oh, You Are The Roots That Sleep Beneath My Feet And Hold The Earth In Place
6. Where would you rather be? Out On The Weekend
7. Describe what you want to be: The Center Of The World
8. Describe how you live: Spent On Rainy Days
9. Describe how you love: Pull My Hair
10. Share a few words of wisdom: Let's not shit ourselves
current mood: okay
current music: blah ...none really
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2 slaps| oh it's on
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| Tuesday, May 10th, 2005
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3:21 am - Candy for my mind
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You walk through this world like a ghost
but you are visable to me
a friend, I'd concider
some one has left you
young and embittered
I can't undo what they've caused
you are left tragically marred
they left you tragically scarred
imperfectly perfect
an idealist, theoretically speaking
a galliant youthful creature
a great soul sat on a too dainty-a-frame
a heavy heart sat on termite eaten wood
sat in this garden of sunflowers,
infested by crows
empty tears in an ever deepening puddle
you've been stepped on and walked over
smacked down and pushed down
beaten and knocked away, let down
yet somehow you've made it
you're here, you're you, and you're amazing
this one's for you
current mood:  creative
current music: my old scribblings
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oh it's on
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1:13 am - *gets dirty look* "Syren!" .......Shit, I'm sorry
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gawd I love Gen....she's my heterosexual life partner
I had so much fun today. I got together some of my ultra super favorite people together and took them up on the parkway in pitch blackness and just sat and talked. Don was cracking everybody up and Kenny was totally just fueling Don's craziness. Gen and I were all about some vulgar blasting off...a lot of STD talk...something about the clap being in Don's armpits hahahahaha talking about more people needing to be out there and vulgar in public..."creepy ass muthafucka..." *goes outside and stares at drunk old hobo* COOTER COOTER COOTER COOTER a lot of talk about penises...Gen wants one and Don doesn't like standing up and handing papers to teachers with a hard on lol. Talked about changing old peoples diapers and wanting to vomit. Talked about getting eaten by bears/mt. lions/lightening/racoons. It was just awesomeall we needed was a lil spice of Bobo and it would have been perfect but I really had fun.
You can't drop the N-bomb in here! I'm tired of being sugary, I'm ready for some spice.....Like HAWT SAUCE!
my new SN on aim: ShadownessStyle
current mood: cheerful
current music: strawberry fields
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oh it's on
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coldfirephoenix's journal